Rules of Dis-Engagement

My story isn't unique. Most of us have experienced it or some version of it. Standing there having your heart ripped out through your throat while your chest tightens and the whole world starts to spin rapidly. Or as others may call it, getting dumped. Standing there being told I just don't love you any more and you think, this is it, this is the worst pain I could possibly ever feel. But you're wrong! Over the next few weeks and months the self doubt, the lack of sleep, the questions that keep you up at night will leave you in such a world of psychological pain that you will be wishing to go back to those first few moments, where you truly didn't know how bad this could get.

Lucky for me, I've been down this road once or twice or ten times before. I've played Survivor : Heartbreak and I am ready for the all stars season. Here are my tips for making it through a break up.

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Do not contact. You may like to think you are a highly evolved emotional being who can deal with having this person in our life but they just ripped your heart out and dealing with this person and their guilt/ remorse is only going to drag the pain out for you.

Do not reply. There will be a point where this person tries to make contact with you again. When they do, and you completely ignore them. This is the single greatest feeling in a break up. The high from this can last for months!

Quit cold turkey. Just like quitting smoking, quit your ex. The methods are very similar. Keep busy, find other things to do. Take up new hobbies do whatever it takes to keep your mind off the said person.

Spend time with friends. Get your closest friends and go out and do something. Do not spend this time rehashing over and over why it didn't work. You may think that is what friends are for but your friends don't want to hear it and it's only keeping you from moving forward.

Make a plan. I don't care if you make a new plan every day or even every hour. Your life has taken a different path to what you thought. Without goals the temptation to go back to the ex will rise back up. Constantly have a new goal you want to achieve and keep busy working towards it.

Eat healthy. In this time of need it may be more than tempting to turn to a big tub of Ben and Jerrys but eating shit will, in the long run make you feel shit. The last thing you need right now is the ups and downs of sugar highs and lows. Eating good makes your body feel good and right now you need that more than anything. Plus, it doesn't hurt to have trimmed up a little if you ever bump into them again.

Keep your self respect. Going out and getting white girl wasted may seem like a fantastic idea at the time but I can guarantee you that hangover will play some mind games with you that you are not ready for right now. Being able to hold your head up high and be proud of your newly single self will she'd weeks off the time it takes to move on.

Remember, it's going to hurt, it's going to feel bad, but you have the power to get through this, and who knows, it might even make you a better person.

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Posted in Art Post Date 05/25/2017


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